All they left was a plea for help

Donkey-related developments [entry]:

donkey or horse (6th May)
I'm confused because I thought he said he was a horse when he advetised for accommodation.
Is there a donkey and a horse?
Have the donkey kidnappers got the wrong person?

Who owns the donkey? (6th May)
Perhaps the owners of the Donkey don't read the bulletin board or they would have posted an answer by now? The prime suspects are the UKAEA Constabulary but we've never seen them at it! Please come forward soon as we miss seeing him around the place.

Please help me (9th May)
I have just escaped from the clutches of the evil kidnappers and managed to find a computer to broadcast a plea for rescue. Please pay the ransom. I hear them coming now to recapture me. I will just have time to submit this message. They are breaking down the door now. Arggghhhhhh!

Horse or Donkey (10th May)
Stories of my demise have been exaggerated, I am a horse and not a donkey and I will be appearing in a location near you very soon.
Thank you for all your kind thoughts and wishes. My twin knows nothing, campaign for his release.

This is the sort of thing I would have done at school. The worrying thing is that there are now at least three people posting donkey messages, and none of them are me.

The decay is obviously spreading.

All they left was a couple of slices of tomato

Chichavster was back in Swin last night, so a few of us went out for tea and a couple of pints. Once more I'm the only one in a group of four drinking.

I return to the house, and get accused of being p!ssed because I was 'very cheery'.

Later . . .