Me and my pint

Went to the pub on the corner for 'a swift one' yesterday after work. Shameful and The Girl I See on the Stairs bottle out early, but when Gilly gets his drinking head on (which happens after one), he becomes determined to keep it on. Five pints and two glasses of wine later, and I struggle to maintain eye contact with the barmaid, who has breasts the size of footballs. It's impossible not to look at them; they're only so big because she's overweight, but they draw the eyes like a car wreck.

I really shouldn't drink so much on a school night.