Drunk or Hungover

That's it, I'm officially on leave now. I'm going back to Devon for two weeks of writing, drinking beer and watching the inevitable bond films, so I'll be away from email and this thing for the duration. If I still owe you a crit, I apologise, but I will get back to you as soon as I come back up in the new year.

All that's left to say is: merry christmas and a happy new year.

Have a good one.

You won't be seeing any prison movies where you're going...prison

Wooo! Another four reviews written last night. Damn, I'm getting good at this 'being motivated' malarky.

Incidentally, during my crit marathon I came across another brilliant story. I feel like I'm jumping late onto a band wagon here, because I've known John Borneman on the list for a while, have heard people heaping praise at his feet for a while now, but have never read anything he's written. It's a shame really, because he's good. I don't think my crit did his piece justice, but hopefully he won't mind. If you're a member of the OWW, check out John's story A Melody of Brass.

Spell His Ass Off

Well, Tymmy's been up at the workshop for over a week now and he seems to be really enjoying himself up there. It's getting some good reviews, and so far no one's said to me 'passive voice is not your friend'. People seem to like it. This makes me happy.

It's got something like half a dozen reviews already, which is a lot more than I usually get. I'd like to think it's because I'm actually putting more effort into reviewing than I have in the past, but it's probably just a by-product of the challenge.

I'm still happy :)

How Rebellious . . . in a Conformist Sort of Way

Turned my telly off last night and forbid myself from watching it. Packed Baldur's Gate II and Warcraft III away. Sternly refused to fuck around on my computer. Put Jordan Rudess's latest album on and settled down to work.

Wrote four reviews for blindness pieces.

Sometimes, when I really try, I can work.

Later . . .

Near Cliche Experience

I had the hangovers to beat all hangovers on Saturday morning. You'd think I'd know by now that, even for someone with my tolerance to alcohol, mixing both variants of wine with a lot of beer is not wise. Still a good time was had, and I survived my first office christmas party without any really embarrassing incidents (at least, none I wish to repeat here).

If it dangles, we'll punch a hole in it

Didn't get as much done last night as I would have liked -- I was too busy watching that Scouse cop getting sliced and diced on The Bill. I did manage to get another crit written though.

In an attempt to get into the Christmas spirit we're running a little competition up on North First. The idea is that people submit three clues about themselves and then everyone has to guess who the clues refer to. After spending an afternoon racking my brain I couldn't think of anything remotely remarkable about myself (we were told to think of things that were interesting and that nobody else in the office knew). I eventually settled for 'writes short fiction', so I guess my dirty little secret is out. Not only that, but on Friday I'll see the proof I am in fact the most boring person in our office. Seb put that he was nearly struck by lightning for crying out loud.

Of course, I was tempted to make something up as no one would be any the wiser, but I wussed out in the end. I had quite a list of them in the end.

Writes erotica under the name Moose Hornshank; Has a pair of lucky pants; Once had a fork waved in his face; Is the most decorated snowboarder in WX history; Is serving as Dean of Elections . . .

Later.

I'll show him. I'll bring you a weapon of unimaginable destructive power

Reviewed another of the blindness stories last night. The ones I've read so far have been very good (particularly Hannah Bowen's Writing on the Wall -- if you're one of the zoo check it out).

Aside from that, I made some more changes to Thanks for Listening, although nothing much more than rewriting sentences.

The reviews I have received so far for Tymmy have been favourable. I'm quite pleased with that seeing as I only wrote the story for the sake of the challenge.

Later . . .

What's the Point in Living if I can't Say 'Ass'?

The results from the karting are back and -- somehow -- I managed to get two points. Not only that, but where I had been certain I had come last, there was still ten people below me. Teamleader Louise was in amongst those ten as well, so I'm happy. It means I wasn't the worst person on our team :) Yay. And I also beat Fran.

After reading that last paragraph again, I'm convinced the karting people have made a mistake.

Our team, Kamakartzy, came twelth out of eighteen. There was a picture accompanying the results and, as soon as I get my web-hosting sorted out, I'll post it. We all look dead sexy in our overalls :)

Everything's Coming up Milhouse

Went to see Seb's band, the Carter Affair, on Friday Night. It was pretty good, although it was a little irritating being surrounded by school children all night.

Soft as a Velvet Child

Surprisingly, I've had a bit of a productive weekend. Even more surprising is the fact I spent two of the evenings out drinking. On Saturday afternoon I managed to clock up three reviews for challenge pieces at the workshop. Yesterday I looked through the first draft of Thanks for Listening in an attempt to identify the weaknesses and problems. I've got a couple of ideas of what to do with it, although it seems to boil down to a perspective problem in the final scene. I'm thinking of doing the reworking when I'm back in the Sticks for Christmas, as it's something I can sit down to without too much hassle.

Later . . .

That's not a Gadget, That's Just Monstrous Use of a Biro

Today is the day the two workshops were due to merge. Time to roll out the red carpet and welcome the dark and sinister reprobates of the horror'shop into our fold. Of course, I was one of those reprobates, but since I only ever subbed one piece to the horror'shop (The Well) I don't think I'm quite as corrupted as the others.

Hope the transition goes well for Ellen and co and that none of the horror crowd scares anyone too badly . . .

. . . at least, not outside their fiction.

If it's a Lesson in Love, Watch Out. I Suffer From a Very Sexy Learning Disorder

Well, Tymmy has been redrafted and posted to the sci-fi, fantasy and horror workshop. Now I just have to wait for the reviews to roll in. One thing that I've learned from this challenge, and I guess that is the real point of the whole thing, is how bloody hard it is to write without being able to fall back on those comfortable visual descriptions. I realise now that I don't know how to describe anything in the other four senses. I kept using 'it smelled' or 'the sound of' or 'it felt' or similar such weak-ass constructs, and when I was looking over it I realised how poor it was. I think I got rid of most of them, but we'll soon find out.

I've enjoyed taking part in this challenge. I think I'd like to try writing something to these rules again, as I've still got a lot to learn. If another idea comes to me, one with as much potential as the one I've just written, I may just do that. My skills could definitely develop further.

Later . . .

He's Just Playing Wiggle Puppy

Finished the blindness story yesterday, adding another 450 words, but I've decided to hold onto it for another day before I submit it. The version I've got is very rough, and I wanted to have another look at it tomorrow night to see if I can spot anything obviously wrong with it. If I can get a headstart on the inevitable comments of 'passive voice is not your friend' and 'this is too long' then maybe I could turn this piece into a halfway decent story.

The story's called Tymmy, named for the cat we had to have put to sleep this summer. In case anyone's curious about the strange spelling, I made a typo the first time I was spelling Timmy and I just liked the look of it. I shall probably change it.

I also critted, but the piece I looked at seems to have vanished from the workshop. Grr.

Later . . .

Tymmy

I spent most of Sunday working on my entry for the blindness story, and wrote quite a bit, but . . . I didn't manage to get it finished. Aaaaaaarrrgghh.

This means I'm going to be a couple of days late submitting, but as they keep reminding us the challenge is open all month. I'll get it up tomorrow, I should think. Meanwhile, I've got to get the other challenge pieces so I've got something to review this week.

I Feel the Need, the Need for Mead

It was the work trip to the Go Karting track on Friday night. I think, judging by my performance and the way I actually managed to reduce our team's score, we can safely say that I was not born to race. They had an electronic leader table up, and over the course of the night I watched with mounting dismay as I languished at the bottom of the table, and then, right at the end, managed to drop off it altogether. The reason for this was a little incident in my third and final heat when I tail-ended the guy in front of me on the first corner, for which I got penalised three points. I think the decision was a little unjust, but I was more interested in escaping the hangar and finding a bar with a late license than complaining.

For the rest of the evening I drove my little go kart like Marge Simpson ('slow and steady wins the race'). I crashed in my first two heats, and the first time I was held back from re-entering the race until a couple of guys lapped me. Embarrassing as that was, it pales next to the fact that one of the guys lapping me was a team-mate.

My racing prowess aside, go-karting was surprisingly good fun (I'd not really done it before and had been quietly dreading it all week). Now I've done it, I can't wait to do it again. Some of the guys in my office have mentioned making another trip out there some time, so we could actually race against each other, and providing I can raise my game a little I might even offer them a challenge.

What else?

Slow and steady wins the race? Slow and steady gets lapped into next week.

Don't Open it, Ralph, I'll Just Give you a C-

There's been a spat of 'woohoo's announced on the mailing lists recently; it seems as if everybody has managed to sell something. I'm incredibly jealous, even though I don't really have a right to be until I send a piece of mine out. Congratulations to all of those who found homes for writing in the last couple of weeks. Keep up the good work.

Later . . .