Suddenly he went to 462

Some wag has scrawled 'Robert' above the sign that says PLANT ROOM.

Yet another has scrawled 'Oven' above the sign that says GLOVES.

Damn, it's funny here.

Suddenly he went to bingo

Went to the pub with my ex last night. It's a proper chav place, which I never really noticed before. It was pub quiz night, which meant that conversation was nigh on impossible. At the end of the night they had a round of bingo. This is cause for much excitement. My ex goes to the bar.

Caller: 'Five and nine, the Brighton line, fifty-nine.'
Every other person in the pub: 'Whoo-whoo!'

I swear I was almost in tears by the time she returned.

Despite this unusual school-night excursion, I managed to crit last night, although I was unable to get any writing done.

Suddenly he went back to his desk

The worst job in the world, part one:

There's a low risk that we might have breathed in air-born contaminants
on our tour. Standard procedure is to ask all visitors to blow their noses
and put the tissues into little bags that are then sent off for analysis.

My driver: 'Does someone have to check those for contaminants?'
Radioactive man: 'Not all of them. It's a random sample.'

I really pity the guy who gets to do that during flu season. Talk about
job satisfaction.

Later . . .