Came, Saw, Conquered

We took a trip to the Largest Maze in the World yesterday. It's in Christchurch, Dorset, in a large field of maize. It has 7.61 miles of paths set into this field (the paths were set out before planting with a GPS receiver) and it actually consists of three mazes of increasing difficulty: silver, gold and platinum.

It took us three hours to drive up there from the Sticks, but it was worth it. We left early, so Jack and Big Ron spent most of the journey asleep. We got there earlier than expected and, as the maze didn't take as long as we thought, we were back home again by six.

We were visiting the attraction fairly late in the season (it's only two weeks now until the crop gets harvested), so the maize had grown to above our heads. At times (especially in the platinum maze, when we started to think we were going around in circles) you couldn't see anything other than crop; not any of the bridges or observation decks, not the marquee that awaited us in the centre, not the railway line that ran along the side of the field.

We didn't find the first two mazes much of a challenge: the silver maze was easy once you remembered where you'd been, and the gold maze we completed using the effective-but-boring method of only ever turning left (my associates didn't think it would work, but we completed it in 20 minutes). The final maze, however . . .

We got put in mind of those horror films, where the hero is chased through a cropfield and ends up getting lost. When Jack led us at a run through the platinum maze, taking random turns as he did so, not one of us managed to keep our bearings. It's easy enough to do if you take it slowly--navigate by the sun, or just keep account of how many lefts and rights you've taken--but running makes it easier to get lost. I never understood that before, how anyone can get lost in those situations, but I do now. I like to think that I've got a pretty good sense of direction (unlike Elydian, who can get himself lost in people's houses) but even I got turned around. You can't remember junctions because they all look the same. You can't head in the right direction, because you can't tell what the right direction is.

Just when we were beginning to think that we had wandered into a big loop, which we were just repeating over and over, we found the exit, and felt an immediate sense of disappointment that, even lost, we had managed to complete it. Still, that didn't last long, and we were soon standing on the victory bridge, laughing at those still inside and doing the victory dance.

Okay, it was only me doing the victory dance, and I stopped fairly quickly when the staff threatened to take my certificates away.

Staggered . . . but Lived to Tell the Tale

Watched The Bourne Identity last night. Quite good, Matt Damon was surprisingly convincing in an action role.

Amaized and Dazed but not Fazed

Today: when I managed to stop our new kittens from attacking my feet, I worked a little on Thanks for Listening. Have added 300 words to the total.

Also read through another story ready to write a review.